The philosophers song was a popular Monty Python song rendered ostensibly by a number of cod-Australian university lecturers. They were all called Bruce and taught at the University of Woolloomooloo. (Woolloomooloo is an inner suburb of Sydney, Australia. There is actually no university there, but there is one at Bruce, a suburb of Canberra.)
The song itself makes a series of scurrilous allegations against a number of highly respected philosophers, usually with regard to their capacity or incapacity for imbibing intoxicating liquors. Victims included: Immanuel Kant, David Hume and, of course, the utilitarian John Stuart Mill who, 'of his own free will, on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill'...
- Immanual Kant was a real pissant
- Who was very rarely stable
- Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
- Who could drink you under the table
- David Hume could out-consume
- Schoepenhauer and Hegel,
- And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
- Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel!