This is such a rough draft, and I'm supposed to be the subject matter expert. *sigh* First paragraph needs tightening up, like " . . . Association, better known as the Unification Church."
Didn't say what Sun Yong or Sun Myung mean in English, which makes the "Moon" thing seem even more irrelevant.
- Needs religious background. Parents' religion, early musings, pre-church ministry, decision to create a church.
- Then the ticklish task of describing his leadership of the Unification Church, with the subtask of dividing this into the church and Moon articles.
I would suggest going as far as decision to create a church and his eventual role (series of roles??) in the Unification Church, but leave most of his activity in the church in the church article. --Wesley